Love your Boston Terrier? Better get a bumper sticker...

In the hairballs section of this week's Houston Press, the latest cutting edge tactics employed by the HPD were profiled much to the chagrin of yours truly and many others throughout the City who want to express their patriotism, support their favorite team or sports figure, espouse their love for their pet, or just communicate whatever personal message they choose.

I remember back when your friendly neighborhood officer had to find something else to pull you over for before giving you the third degree about a frame or cover or anything obstructing any part of the license plate on your car. I remember it clearly because I got pulled over, in front of the theater, for having a headlight out. Ironically, I had the purchased new headlight that morning and had not had a chance to install it before the show call. Now here I was, with a suspicious cop asking to see my hands, pulling me out of my truck, patting me down, and loading me into the back of the cruiser, all because my Pennsylvania license didn't have a handy dandy easily computer readable magnetic strip, therefore necessitating the manual entry of the information.

The initial suspicion was due to the fact that I had a clear plastic cover over my license plate in order to thwart miscreants in Philly from snapping off the end of the plate which had the current registration sticker on it so as to sell said sticker illicitly. I tried to explaining this to the officer, and he grudgingly bought it. However, after typing in my info and waiting for it to be read and processed, the screen that came up on the computer in his cruiser had the word 'suspension' in it somewhere, resulting in the aforementioned search and placement in the back of the car.

Meanwhile, time is creeping by, time that I, a newly hired sound engineer at a major regional theatre in the country, need to be using to get ready for the show and do a sound check... The information finally came back, there were no suspensions or outstanding warrants on my record, I think to the disappointment of the officer, and he had to settle for giving me the $50 ticket for the headlight. I zipped into theatre, did the fastest power up and sound check I think I've ever done in my life, and had a slightly surreal story to tell all my co-workers (some of whom can be quoted as saying "that was YOU?!? I wondered who that loser was who got pulled over right in front of the entrance to the garage..."

So, now the HPD doesn't need to wait and spot something like a burnt out headlight. They can pull you over for the frame or anything else covering any part of the plate. Another form of self expression falls victim to the Man...