Just leave 'em alone!

Houston Press:

Freaking ferrets. They're insidious. Their cuteness conquers all. It makes people forget the high price of keeping them, measured in both vets' bills and time spent entertaining them. It trumps the fact that you're going to be spending a lot of time cleaning up ferret shit. It blinds you to the realization that you're loving a weasel.

"I call them the 'Thief of Hearts,'" Clark says. "They will steal your heart, but they will also break it pretty bad when they go. Next year I'll have to get another to replace Vladi."


My brother had several of these little critters when we were in college and both living at home. The most annoying thing about them was their habit of chewing on the back of my Timberland boots, which gave them a well worn look but made it hazardous to move in a rolling chair after sitting for a period of time more than, say, thirty seconds. When Rikki died he had him cremated and still has the ashes in an Urn at his house (he has two dogs now). The other two Ferrets were being boarded while the medical clearances to go to Japan to live with his girlfriend at the time's sister and her husband.

Yeah, they smelled, and the percentage of accuracy in terms of the litter box did leave a bit to be desired, but they lived primarily in his room, so it wasn't that much of an issue. It certainly wasn't as serious a problem as some people make it out to be:

Giuliani: This conversation is over, David. Thank you. [Mr. Giuliani cuts him off.] There is something really, really, very sad about you. You need help. You need somebody to help you. I know you feel insulted by that, but I'm being honest with you. This excessive concern with little weasels is a sickness.

I'm sorry. That's my opinion. You don't have to accept it. There are probably very few people who would be as honest with you about that. But you should go consult a psychologist or a psychiatrist, and have him help you with this excessive concern, how you are devoting your life to weasels.

There are people in this city and in this world that need a lot of help. Something has gone wrong with you. Your compulsion about it, your excessive concern with it, is a sign of something wrong in your personality. I do not mean to be insulting. I'm trying to be honest with you and I'm trying to give you advice for your own good. I know you, I know how you operate, I know how many times you called here this week. Three or 4 o'clock in the morning, David, you called here.

You have a sickness. I know it's hard for you to accept that, because you hang on to this sickness, and it's your shield, it's your whatever. You know, you gotta go to someone who understands this a lot better than I do. And I know you're real angry at me, you're gonna attack me, but actually you're angry at yourself and you're afraid of what I'm raising with you. And if you don't deal with it, I don't know what you're gonna do. But you called here excessively all week, and you called here at 3 o'clock in the morning. And 4 o'clock in the morning. Over weasels. Over a ferret.

The fact that they're illegal to be kept as pets in some municipalities across the country and here in the Houston metropolitan area under the pretense that they are as dangerous as predatory cats is ludicrous. People keep animals as pets that are more dangerous and more eccentric than Ferrets, sometimes with deadly results. Whoever heard of a Ferret choking the life out of its owner? And when the little guys do bite you, it's all in play and totally harmless (as long as they've had their rabies shots), unlike
this:

From ALLAN HALL
in Berlin

A MAN who lived in his own “zoo” of lizards and insects was fatally bitten by a pet black widow spider — then eaten by the other creepy-crawlies.

Police broke in to Mark Voegel’s apartment to find spider Bettina along with 200 others, several snakes, a gecko lizard called Helmut and several thousand termites had gorged on his body.

It may not be illegal, but, man, that's just STOOOPID...

Pets are great, not matter what anyone else thinks about them. They provide companionship, and their love is unconditional as long as you treat them with respect and compassion. Whoever heard of a well loved pet going bad?

One more thing about Ferrets. They don't take kindly to being called weasels, and they're not afraid to speak out against attempts at oppression: